Thursday, July 7, 2016

Why this...why that?

Every time I’ve gone on social media lately I’ve regretted it. Why? Whenever I’ve opened Twitter or Facebook, all I’ve seen is awful news about all these shootings and bombings happening. From seeing the news that Christina Grimmie got shot, to the nightclub shooting, to some mother murdering her daughters, to the Alton Sterling shooting, to another guy getting shot by police in Minnesota; it’s too much. Too much for my heart to handle.  And those are just a few of the awful tragedies that have happened within the past month. It’s scary that I can’t even name all of them off the top of my head; and let me repeat - that have happened within the past month.

{“I have told these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33}

I’m gonna be typing verses/quotes throughout this post because they help me, and I hope they help you as much as they help me.

You never think it’s going to happen to you, or in your hometown until it actually happens; when you least expect it. I learned this when there was a shooting in my local mall. I’ll never forget the horror of seeing the mall that I nearly go to every day on national news. I’ll also never forget driving past the mall when the shooting happened, and seeing all these police cars everywhere. I thought that someone just stole something, until I logged on to Twitter and read that it was a shooting. When the mall reopened, I couldn’t go back for at least a month.

Now, I’ve grown a nasty habit of going out and always expecting something to happen. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even sit in my own home without worrying that someone’s going to target at me through the window. I can barely walk past strangers anymore without having the fear of them pulling out some kind of weapon. I usually like to smile at people, because that’s simply the type of person that I am; but now I’m afraid to. I still do smile at everyone I meet, but I just am more careful now than ever.

I never truly understand why people can be so cruel and make these awful choices.  I mean, I know that it’s because they’re so unhappy with themselves that they want to go ruin someone else’s life. But really, how does that serve them? I really don’t get why hurting people makes people feel better about themselves or life.  What gives anyone the right to senselessly gun someone down just because their pain has built up so much inside?

This blog post could literally be all questions that I have about people, because I just wish everyone would listen to God instead of the devil. He gives us a choice. We can either follow Him and His will and treat ourselves and others correctly, or follow the devil. Some people unfortunately choose the devil’s path, and it just makes me so sick.

Once reading something online about something happening, it’s so easy to get caught up in reading more and more sources about more details. I’m guilty for doing that a lot lately, and it’s been depressing me and has been heavily increasing my anxiety.

A lot of you know I’m starting college soon; and since I’m taking summer classes, I mean sooner than soon. If you read my last post, you read about how I already was feeling nervous about going off to college; such as leaving my family and friends, college rape, and other typical things that tend to happen in college. And after hearing about all these horrifying events happening, you can definitely say that I’ve gotten more nervous about leaving home and going off to college.

My anxiety though….oh my. Let’s just say I’ve had a lot of trouble with trusting God lately. Have you ever just tried to pray and pray and pray and you still feel like He doesn’t hear you? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately, because I’m constantly worried that someone’s going to hurt me or one of my loved ones.

{“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, with petition and prayer and thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” -Philippians 4:6}

Pssst. That’s my favorite Bible verse!

BUT, here’s the thing that God has really been teaching me lately. Anything can happen, to anyone at anytime. Even if some miracle happened where gun violence would stop, or people stopped the violence in general, tragic things won’t stop happening. Horrible things happen everyday; such as car accidents, cancer, injuries, etc. The scary thing is that, we don’t know our futures and we don’t know how much time we have on this earth. God has a path for all of us, so we have to follow Him and trust Him even though we can’t really predict much. We can prepare and dream big, but He is ultimately the one who is in charge of our lives. And these past few weeks, I have been struggling with letting Him be in control in my life. And trust me, when He’s not in control, things can get pretty messy.

“I have to keep believing. He’s brought me to where am I today. If I let these stupid things shake my faith, then I’m letting evil win. I don’t want that, and neither does God.” - New quote from yours truly :)

{“Sometimes God allows terrible things to happen, but that doesn’t mean we should stop trusting Him.” -Christina Grimmie }

We need to enjoy every day on this earth, and find something good in each day; even if we had a terrible day filled with darkness. Live everyday of your life like it’s your last, and enjoy your time with your loved ones. Life is too short to be unhappy; we just need to love each other and ourselves. This has been said so many times, but we need to start applying this to our everyday lives instead of waiting for a tragedy to happen to remember that we need to enjoy our days and the people around us.

{“Till He returns, or calls me home, this is the power of Christ in me.”}

I really think the first step is to fall more in love with ourselves more and more every day, which is something I’ve been working on and have been making progress with for quite a while.

God, I want to lift up the families and friends of all the victims that have died recently. Actually, not just recently, but of all the victims that have died in all the tragedies that have happened in this world. I also want to lift up the families and friends of the suspects, because I can’t imagine what they’re going through either. Now, I want to pray for everyone because we all have dealt with losing a loved one before. We all are struggling with our own issues; whether it's with mental illnesses, physical issues, family issues, the list goes on and on. But God, we need to stay positive and we need to find light in all things. Lord, I pray as we move forward that we can all open our eyes and know that life is so precious. Help us to love ourselves, and to love others. We most importantly need to know You more than anything. Help us to live our lives to the fullest, and to do what we love so our dreams don’t just stay dreams. Help me and anyone else who is dealing with bad anxiety to not be so anxious, yet help us to just trust you. And to be more like you.


Let’s come together and let love win again.

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